Why Did I Binge? Raw Food Diet Journal Entries Analyzed

Now that I’m “all grown up” in my nutrition and cravings knowledge, I thought it’d be interesting to look back at my old food journal entries to point out “what went wrong” during those binges and intense cravings (for all the raw food journal entries posted on the website, go here). Why did I feel so out of control? What was I missing?

A whole lot, some of you say. You shrug. “Raw food. Not enough nutrition.”

Sure, to an extent. Raw food provides great nutrition from all the fruits and veggies, but I was definitely missing out on important parts of the raw food diet because of my restrictive tendencies (well, eating disorder); I was still too scared of calories (“I shouldn’t eat too much fruit!”), and my fear of fat prevailed (“limit the nuts, seeds, and especially the oils!”).

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Raw Food Journal Entries 33-36: Bring on the Binges

July 16, 2011

My weight scares the hell out of me. I know I shouldn’t be surprised after bingeing again last night, but this feels like something out of my control and I feel alone in it. I only have myself to blame.

I competed in the Tri Del Sol triathlon today. I’m surprised I did as well as I did after binging again last night on cooked food. Luckily my times were a little faster for each part of the triathlon compared to last year. I still can’t help looking back at the pictures of me from last year, knowing that I weigh more now than I did last year.

TRIDELSOL2010

 

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Raw Food Journal Entry 25: Something’s Not Quite Right

June 13, 2011

I went to Emily’s house for a “camping” trip with my cross country teammates this past weekend. I made sure to get in plenty of greens in multiple green smoothies before leaving.

For supper I ate raw vegetables and some salad with salsa. Later that night I ate fruit and then indulged in the s’mores and cupcakes; I felt like I went out of control with that. I hate how I can’t enjoy everyone’s company when all that is going through my head is sugar sugar sugar. How can everyone else be so oblivious to the food? Why do I have to be so focused on it all the time? Why does it seem like I am the only one focused on these cravings and terrible desires for more and more?

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Raw Food Journal Entry 18: Breakfast of Champions: Rawchael Competes at Nationals

May 29, 2011

Track nationals was quite the experience! I was able to eat fruit every morning from the cafeteria (and lots of it at that—about twelve small bananas with some apples for breakfast each morning). The competitors’ reactions to my plates of fruit were priceless. It was comforting with my teammate Rachel there though because she is supportive of me with this raw food stuff. She makes me feel better about eating in front of people, even if it feels weird.

I had no bathroom issues/gas/digestion problems whatsoever for this entire experience! I think my body is getting use to this diet. I feel like I’m finally feeling good and adjusting.

I ate many colorful, leafy salads for lunch and dinner with fruit here and there. I also added nuts/seeds or avocado. I ate dates before my races, which worked out wonderfully.

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Raw Food Journal Entries 12, 13, & 14: Stomach Problems Surface

May 4, 2011

I ate oranges and apples this morning (about ten fruits in all) as a good food combination. But my mouth was acidic afterwards…it felt strange and “sticky” if that’s the right word for it…

My body must be making up for all the times I refused to go to the bathroom when I was five (It took me away from my play time). To put it simply, the toilet is my best friend right now.

I craved sweets by 2:30pm and caved into my dark chocolate, and then two sugary granola bars. But I only had about 150 calories worth of those–the sweetness was overpowering. I did have a lot of dark chocolate beforehand though. I think that is a “healthier” choice over the granola bars.

CONFERENCE

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Raw Food Journal Entry 6

April 20, 2011

These past few days I haven’t bothered to write down everything because it’s been pretty consistent, with no major new things to record. Just eatin’ my fruits and veggies!

Yesterday was fantastic because Wege had a salad of avocado and spinach. I might have over-done it on the avocado (I should watch my fat intake–don’t want to over-do it) but it was delicious!

I have had some cooked food, of course. I found out the beets I’ve been eating were actually cooked–sounds like it’s the “only” way to do it, sort of like potatoes . . . darn it! They’re still delicious, and I’m sure I’ll continue to eat them. They have lots of iron.

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Raw Food Journal 5: Racing Raw

April 16, 2011

I ran the 1500m and the 800m today. My races were pitiful to say the least.

I felt drained. I don’t think it’s from the food–I’ve gotten very little sleep throughout the week, I stood for hours in the cold Thursday night at the high school track meet, I’ve been stressed with projects and homework, and I’ve increased my mileage quickly on top of cross training.

It was cold, windy, and rainy outside—nothing too surprising for spring in Michigan. But the weather reflected my mood and my day–which was just as miserable as my eating habits.

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Raw Food Journal Entries 3 & 4

April 14, 2011

I think this was my best raw food day yet.

Breakfast: I tried out the flax seeds for the first time! I felt proud of myself when I used the coffee grinder to grind them. What an amazing tool. Shows how advanced I am in my food preparation skills….

I created my own “recipe” by grinding two tablespoons of flaxseeds and sprinkling that over two mashed bananas. Ta-da! Raw oatmeal. I completed the meal with a raw food bar, a pear, apple, orange, and two plums. I love these breakfasts because they seem to be a little different each morning.

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Raw Food Journal Entry 2

April 12, 2011

Mood: This diet is new, so it’s exciting for me!

Breakfast: 4 plums, banana, orange, Raw organic fiber bar, Larabar

Today is the day I can test what the raw food will do for my stomach during the workout. We have a 12x400m workout on the track and a few weeks ago my stomach felt queasy on my normal diet. That day I ended up jogging slowly back to campus because I felt so sick to my stomach. This only led to major bathroom issues upon returning to the fitness center. I hope this is not a result of fiber, because this raw food diet has even more fiber. I hope it’s more of a result of eating wheat or diary or something because now I’ve taken those food groups out.

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Raw Food Journal Entry 1, Spring 2011

April 11, 2011

The journey to a raw food diet has officially begun.

I visited Jill (a raw-foodist runner) Saturday night at the Health Harvest store where she works. It’s like a holistic health store that sells organic produce, sprouted grains breads, herbal medicines, and many raw food items.

Jill had me try a piece of her raw food pie, which tasted delicious—I am amazed with this food. It’s fun having a healthy dessert and not feeling bad about eating it. Basically it consists of a sweet mango filling, slices of kiwi and blueberries on top, and an almond-date-coconut crust. I tried to eat it slowly to savor every bite but I’ll admit that when I was done I wanted more.

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