I cannot say starting this blog is easy, but something within prompts me to share what I’ve been hiding for too long. Something tells me I need to look back at my food log from more than a year ago when I began a raw food diet. By doing this, perhaps I will discover what happened along the way that led me to where I am now. Maybe I can see why I was in denial about my poor relationship with food.
I did not start the raw food diet out of striving for health. I wanted weight loss. After a year of restricting calories, I wanted to continue to lower my weight. After losing over X pounds in a matter of months during my senior year of high school, I was at first satisfied with a lower weight (BMI of 18.5). But once I correlated the low weight to success in my first year of college racing track and cross country, I wanted more. I was determined to drop more weight each year to run faster.
I was about to fall further than I had ever been. Ironically, it was raw food that “saved” me from continuing the restriction. An injury that took hold of me within a matter of months of starting the raw food diet made me look deeper into what I was doing to my body.
Right now I am uncomfortable with the truth, but I have been working to be more honest. I feel that, ready or not, now is the time to share.
“Confront the dark parts of yourself. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” ~August Wilson