On your mark . . .

I cannot say starting this blog is easy, but something within prompts me to share what I’ve been hiding for too long. Something tells me I need to look back at my food log from more than a year ago when I began a raw food diet. By doing this, perhaps I will discover what happened along the way that led me to where I am now. Maybe I can see why I was in denial about my poor relationship with food.

I did not start the raw food diet out of striving for health. I wanted weight loss. After a year of restricting calories, I wanted to continue to lower my weight. After losing over X pounds in a matter of months during my senior year of high school, I was at first satisfied with a lower weight (BMI of 18.5). But once I correlated the low weight to success in my first year of college racing track and cross country, I wanted more. I was determined to drop more weight each year to run faster.

I was about to fall further than I had ever been. Ironically, it was raw food that “saved” me from continuing the restriction. An injury that took hold of me within a matter of months of starting the raw food diet made me look deeper into what I was doing to my body.

Right now I am uncomfortable with the truth, but I have been working to be more honest. I feel that, ready or not, now is the time to share.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” ~August Wilson

6 replies
  1. Sharon
    Sharon says:

    Cheetah Baby! This is a great first post. Blogging is a great way to process and share with people you love, or people that love you (and would like to share in your experiences). Can’t wait to read more!

  2. Haley Greenwell
    Haley Greenwell says:

    Hey Rachael, Thanks for your comment on my blog. I agree that we have a lot in common. I can already tell from your first entry, along with the fact that I ran Division 1 xc/track with an eating disorder.
    I hope your blog helps you like mine helped me. I’ll be reading and supporting you.
    xxx Haley

  3. MARIAH PERKINS
    MARIAH PERKINS says:

    “I am not comfortable with the truth, but I have been working to be as honest as I can–and I feel like ready or not, now is the time to share.”

    Over the past few months I have started to read your blog and it was difficult for me to start commenting. I was apprehensive on what to say and worried that my responses would be forced and faked, but the truth is I was afraid to just be honest. I felt for a while that I needed to censor my thoughts for one reason or another, but then I decided to look back to this post. As you have found through this journey, honesty helps tremendously. This idea is applicable to every facet of our lives, but especially the scary parts. The ones we don’t tell people on first (or second or third) meetings. The ones that our family and friends only learn in time. The ones we hide from ourselves. Thank you for sharing your story. It has helped me feel more comfortable sharing mine.

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  1. […] but on this trip as a whole and where Running in Silence has taken me from its very beginning (December 2012!). I’m especially thankful for the people and circumstances that led me to this point where […]

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