Raw Food Journal Entries 30-32: Stretched Too Thin

July 1, 2011

I have come to the consensus that a 100% raw food diet is not ideal for me. I also don’t believe in being 100% raw vegan. Some eggs here and there are good, as well as some meat. I probably will only consume fish “meat” though. Sometimes cooked, mostly raw, and often smoked (I just tried some smoked salmon the other day–delicious! Dad is bringing more home soon). I also think the raw food recipes have way too many nuts, seeds, and oils. I see why being a raw-foodist has problems with too many fats and sometimes calories. Now that I’m more confident in my culinary skills (although I am still learning, of course), I am content with leaving out agave nectar, lots of nuts and seeds, oils, and salt–or at least limiting those things. I will try to be as “high raw” as possible.
I went to my second Rawluck last night. I made a spinach salad with cucumbers, avocado, and a tomato-based dressing. The other members of the group brought colorful salads, romaine tacos with spicy nut “meat,” and delicious desserts. There was a “cheesecake” that I loved, a nut-butter-sesame treat, coconut macaroons, and you could make your own parfaits in the garden by picking your own strawberries and mixing them with gRAWnola and a coconut paste “yogurt.” I can’t get over how delicious these raw desserts are—wow.

RAW FOOD

But I may have to lie off on the desserts now—even if they are raw. I especially have to be careful because I have to get rid of the binging first.
My weight is becoming an issue now. It’s definitely climbing a bit (123lbs). It’s no mystery to me though. I’ve been eating lots of oils, nuts and seeds with the rawluck and over-doing the dried fruits (figs and dates). I have to avoid binging and keep my dessert days to just one time a week. I also have to let my body actually be hungry before eating. I’ve learned to understand hunger again; I have to wait as long as I can. I’ve been practicing this well in my summer biology class. I eat some fruit for breakfast and don’t bring much to class so that I can feel true hunger. I have to wait until my stomach is growling and feels entirely empty. This is difficult to wait for but when I’m in class and have no food with me anyway I have no choice.
Today I just ate four mangoes, went for a four-mile run, and then went to see my friend Abbie. Her family was eating dinner but I didn’t eat with them. Besides, they were eating tacos so nothing was raw except for the sweet bell peppers so I had a few slices of those.
July 12, 2011
I went swimming Saturday night at a friend’s pool and realized I have stretch marks on my hips. That scared me a lot. I thought I saw the stretch marks when I squatted down the other day for something but seeing them again was a wake-up call.
I know I’ve gained weight. I’m obsessing over it now though because it scares me so much. I weigh myself throughout the day, trying to see if something changes or just to understand when it changes and why. I think I’m at about 123-124lbs now. It’s much more than I weighed last summer by about 4-5 pounds, and it scares me because I don’t want the raw food diet to make me gain weight. I thought it was supposed to help me lose weight or stay the same while I could eat whatever I wanted, as long as it was raw!
But I guess I’m not eating all raw. I’ve been binging a lot too, especially at night, and I’ve been treating myself too much. I just need to watch everything more carefully. I know I’m learning, and each day I get a little better and learn something new, especially about myself.
I don’t want to come into my sophomore year of college heavier (and believe me, people can see that) and run slower. I’ve put too much effort into my training and the way I eat to start going downhill. If there’s one thing I have over my competitors, it’s nutrition–and knowing how to go about it.
I guess that’s my main reason for this raw food diet. Yes, I love how I feel and I love eating this way, but it’s mostly to achieve what I want to achieve in running. And if it disturbs this in any way, I have to change a few things.
July 14, 2011
I had a nightmare about my body last night. I had stretch marks the length of my arms all along my torso and hips. In my dream when I looked in the mirror I looked almost like this weird striped tiger or something. I awoke in a panic and felt uneasy all day.
I had a delicious spinach and butternut squash salad with hummus for dinner, but still felt like I was tearing down the kitchen in search for food. So instead of binging like crazy again (I could feel it coming on) I tried to just stick with an avocado and ate it until satisfied.
I think I’m figuring out this binging problem. I don’t think I’m getting in enough fats, so my body tries to look for anything at night and I finally fill up when I just eat the fat! I keep trying to avoid too much fat and too much fruit though because I’m worried about the calories or just overdoing it in general.
I’ve been eating oatmeal lately. I don’t know why it’s been calling to me so much, but I’ve been giving in. I ate so much bread the other night when I should’ve just eaten bowls of oatmeal (which is less processed and doesn‘t have the added sugar). Raw foodists use oatmeal (although it’s not cooked–they sprout it) but I’m starting think it’s okay to cook beans, quinoa, oatmeal, legumes, etc because sprouting is too much work for me—at least for now. I just want to keep it as simple and stress-free as possible.
I looked up the nutritional profile of oatmeal and saw that it is rich in manganese, iron, magnesium, and phosphorus. Maybe I’m lacking some of those minerals?
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I do not advocate nor do I completely dismiss the raw food diet but I do encourage you to stay with me through these past journal entries (please note the date in bold verses the post date) until the end to decide for yourself what you think would be best for you as pertaining to diet if you feel the need to change in any way. Please understand that I went into the raw food diet with some wrong intentions. Learn from my mistakes before making your own

About Rachael

Rachael Steil is a graduate from Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, Michigan with a Bachelor of Arts. Steil an author, speaker, and a recipient of the Spirit and Outstanding Runner award for the Aquinas College cross country team and has received 6th place All-American accolades in cross country as well as 7th place in the NAIA track nationals.
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4 Responses to Raw Food Journal Entries 30-32: Stretched Too Thin

  1. Rachel says:

    Hey, you’re not the only one! I have stretch marks on my thighs and was really self-conscious about them in middle and high school. I would run in pants in the middle of summer because I was so embarrassed! But look at me now: I wear buns! Haha. I’m not sure what helped me to get over it, but I think it was just mental reinforcement that they didn’t mean I was fat, and that they really aren’t a big deal. Even my 100lb sister-in-law has them! Haha. It’s part of being a woman, I think. They are annoying, but I think it is important to accept our (physical) selves the way they are as long as they are healthy.

    • rachael says:

      Yeah, I totally understand that now. It’s good to look back at this because even when I had like barely any fat on me I had stretch marks haha…so I’ve definitely learned from it!

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