This September I spoke at an event called Failure Lab. Seven speakers talked about a time they’ve failed to “pave the way for change by crushing the isolation and stigma around failure.” We had to share our stories of failure, and leave it at that—no lesson learned, and we could not talk about how we made it out.
Preparing for, speaking at, and reflecting on this event made me think about many of my failures–one, in particular.
I began this blog in fear.
I didn’t know who I was or where I was going, but two years ago I needed this blog to make me feel like I was getting something done. It was my last hope for change.
I feared what my friends, teammates, and family would think. I worried they would think that I was faking an eating disorder, or that I was being over-dramatic. Maybe they would think I was just trying to seek attention. I knew the website could be met with skepticism, but something deep down screamed for relief–and the writer inside of me persisted.
As of right now, I will not be posting any more journal entries. This was a difficult decision to make. There are more journal entries to reveal, but I need to take action and make something more of these than just a blog. I never planned on doing this; in fact, I anticipated sharing the entire journey on this website. However, after a lot of thinking and professional writing advice, I have decided I want to work on these posts more and create something bigger.
You will be able to read the rest of the posts eventually—however, I can’t tell you when since I don’t even know myself. All I do know is that this is the next step I have to take and I don’t want to risk self-publishing all of my work on this site if my gut feeling is to do something bigger.